


if you love me, come clean

by toadsica



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Kissing, Love Confessions, Making Up, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:15:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toadsica/pseuds/toadsica
Summary: "I'm serious," Asra fixes him with a meaningful stare. He looks like he's a second or two away from crying, "There's a real chance one or both of us won't be walking out of that palace. I don't- I don't want anything to happen to you before I get a chance to talk about it, Ilya."





	if you love me, come clean

**Author's Note:**

> this is for u gays out there  
> gna beat the devils ass and i just wanted to give them a Moment  
> my apprentice is on muriels route and i need them to kiss and make up by the end pleasbe

By the time Asra had dragged him through town and back into the shop, Julian's heart was hammering furiously against his chest. He shouldn't be so nervous, really, because all they're doing is picking up some books, but it still feels like they're walking towards their own deaths, hand-in-hand.

 

Could be the impending end of the world at the hands of the Devil, but you never know with Julian.

 

When Asra unlocked the door and flung it open, Julian's mouth went dry. They hadn't talked much on the way to the shop itself, though Julian did find himself asking a few magic-related questions.

 

"Oh, uh," Julian swallowed roughly. Asra just turned to look at him, one foot elevated on the foundation floor, "It's really- uhm- been a while since I've been here. Casually, that is."

 

"Well, if you consider hunting down some old books on a save-the-world quest to be casual," Asra stepped inside and waited at the door for Julian to enter as well. He smiled, full of mischief as always, "Then you really haven't changed at all."

 

Once Julian is inside, Asra shuts the door. It's significantly warmer now that they're out of the wind, and Julian shivers with the temperature change. Asra wastes no time, quickly pulling off his mask and grabbing his skirts at the hips to move more efficiently. Julian can't help but stare at the fabric as it trails behind Asra, eyes moving up his lean back to rest on that curly mess of white hair as he stops in front of a bookshelf.

 

Julian coughs awkwardly and steps forward in long strides. He's beside Asra in about five steps. Asra just looks at him, down at his skinny legs, and then shakes his head with a little smile.

 

"Hmm," Asra hums, "That's funny. I thought I had more books for us to work with."

 

"You had quite a collection," Julian leans over him (which isn't very hard) to look at the bookshelf, "Last time I was here, anyways. Maybe Carraway took some?"

 

"I'm not sure what Carraway would've used them for," Asra squints, "And Muriel isn't a very big ritual...doer? Performer?"

 

"Ritualist?" Julian offers, and Asra nods with a firm hum, seeming content, "Maybe you, uh, took 'em somewhere and forgot to bring them back."

 

Asra merely shrugs and begins to pull a few books off the fully-packed shelf. He hands four to Julian, who takes them into his hands, and then takes three for himself. He then leads him into the back room, laying the books in a stack on the table. Julian assumes he's expected to do the same. Once all the books are neat and orderly, Asra sucks in a breath and walks over to stand in front of Julian.

 

"Ilya," He looks up at him. Julian fidgets with his fingers, "I don't...think I've ever really apologized, for everything that happened. Between us, and what came after."

 

"Oh," Julian can't hide the shock on his face. He straightens himself awkwardly and then smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Well, ah, y'know, it's all water under the bridge now! All of that stuff was just-"

 

"I'm serious," Asra fixes him with a meaningful stare. He looks like he's a second or two away from crying, "There's a real chance one or both of us won't be walking out of that palace. I don't- I don't want anything to happen to you before I get a chance to talk about it, Ilya."

 

Julian sucks in a big breath, the weight of the situation almost crushing. He knows that Asra is right, really: it wouldn't be fair to die on each other with so much left unsaid.

 

"I...I know," Julian takes off his gloves to pick anxiously at his nails, "I know, Asra, and I'm sorry, too. I assumed too much, when it wasn't my place to, and got angry when my assumptions were wrong."

 

"Oh, Ilya," Asra smiles tiredly. Julian flushes with the urge to hold him. "Your assumptions weren't wrong, I just...couldn't cope. I felt so much for you, but after Carraway died, it just felt wrong. Dirty, to love you in his stead. I realize now that my feelings for Carraway were never romantic, and that I was unfair to you."

 

The words hit Julian like a sack of heavy rocks. There had always been that glimmer of hope that Asra returned his feelings, throughout their relationship, but he had given up on it after the bitter end and final confession. Now, however, things changed. Julian wanted to curl up and cry. He wanted to kiss Asra senseless. At the end of the world, and only now do they sit down and talk it out.

 

"I..." Julian swallows. A single tear slips down Asra's cheek, which he quickly wipes away, "Oh, gods, Asra, I didn't _know._ I didn't- and now-"

 

Asra steps closer. Julian goes with, magnetically, "We'll have time to talk about this once it's over," Asra is pressed closed to him now, talking softer, standing on his toes.

 

"For now," Hands wind up on Julian's shoulders, and slender fingers trace up his jaw. They splay outwards near his ear and wind in his hair, "Know that I love you, Ilya. So much."

 

They meet each other in a kiss, Julian bending slightly and Asra arching his back. Asra grips his hair for leverage and Julian grabs ahold of his hips, pulling him as close as they could be. The fabric of Asra's skirts bunch up as Julian's grip pulls them upwards just slightly, and Asra is holding his shoulder so tight that it'll leave wrinkles in his suit. Asra tastes, distantly, like tea and whatever kind of sweets they were serving at the Masquerade.

 

It's the nicest thing Julian has felt in a while. Asra is warm and flush against him, and when he pulls away Asra is left gasping for air. Julian's chest heaves with the labor of his breath. Asra smiles at him, toothy and delicate all the same, and then picks up his stack of books from the table. Julian takes a moment to get his head to quit spinning, but eventually retrieves his own stack. Asra is waiting for him by the door.

 

"Let's go save the world," Asra kicks the door open with his heel, and Julian realizes that he's got something to hope for at the end of the line.


End file.
